Over the last 24 hours I have received messages from an almost infinite number of sources. In came, “I love you” from my children, husband, and family, friendly responses from acquaintances,and holy words from scriptures. I have felt prodding, comforting, guiding hands from spiritual sources, heard my internal dialogue pushing me to do better, be stronger, and keep going, and a contradictory, “just 5 more minutes.” As a highly sensitive individual, I’ve been embarrassed, knocked down, inspired, and built up again multiple times throughout the day. I’ve felt, heard, and seen all of these messages. The less than ideal were seen as lessons or reminders. I must be honest, they kept me down longer than I’d like to admit. The pleasantries were absorbed and calmed my heart. The wise challenged me to refocus. These are the messages that I value the most.

The purpose of this blog is to give myself the freedom of self expression, and to answer the call of honoring my aspirations. I’m still relatively young, at least I hope that I have time ahead of me. A few years back, I had a creative mid life crisis. I suddenly felt an overwhelming drive to do “more,” all the while very unsure of what “more” meant. This drive led me to rediscover my love of dance, and fulfill my dream of teaching dance. I practiced painting, gardening, and cooking. I also contributed to form a local grassroots non-profit to fuel creativity for my community. I fortunately found a renewed appreciation and passion for my day job. I continue to practice pottery and writing that began during this personal renaissance.

With all of this activity, I often felt lost in the swirl of uncertainty. I sought advice from trusted individuals who have been blessed with not only a talent, but opportunity to make a career from their gifts. Two pieces of advice that resonated the most were:

  1. Don’t quit your day job until your passion pays more, AND
  2. If you want to write, paint, dance, fill in the blank, DO IT. Do it for you, regardless of quality and reception.

I put this advice into practice without a true choice to do otherwise. I wasn’t fulfilled mentally or spiritually without feeding my creative hunger. I began to personify a family name that translates into “tinker.” This seemed to be very accurate for myself as a late blooming, self described ‘Jane of all trades.’  All of this tinkering successfully quenched my ticking, creative clock. I’ve come out of this personal revolution not with bliss, but with an appreciation of the continuing challenges and joys life delivers. I’m even more receptive to the messages.

This morning as I enjoyed coffee, the messages poured in when I seemed to need them the most. I watched and listened to Bernie Sanders speak about the importance of examining causes and issues that truly matter as opposed to selling entertainment. Later, an interview with Elizabeth Gilbert presented themes of personal worth, fear, and acceptance. The morning faded into afternoon with reminders and encouragement to stay true to myself, to set my plan, and to answer my call. I have always believed that our purpose is to learn and love to the fullest extent of our ability. To ignore the purpose and to miss the call, would be to do the same for oneself. We are called to love others as ourselves. It is time for me to love myself and grant the same kindness as I do for others.  I will continue tinkering, learning, creating, and loving. I will be my own reward, answering the calls however they may come in. Messages received, indeed.

Advertisements